You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
