I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
