a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
