he shaved USA in his pubs
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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