so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
