I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
false alarm. still invincible.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
