I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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