Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
