I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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