Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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