Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
