Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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