wat bout pragnant strippers??
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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