i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
