Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
