Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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