are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
