im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
