Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
