I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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