i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
