My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
