What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
