I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
