Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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