A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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