In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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