is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
