I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
