I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i now understand why vodka
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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