My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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