Moan for me like Helen Keller
we made out on top of his cat.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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