Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
