I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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