Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize