recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
