Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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