i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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