this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
