I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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