I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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