we have pet lesbian snakes
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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