They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
