omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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