Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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