If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
