why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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