We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Even my vagina gasped.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
