Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
tell me about the eggs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
