I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
