it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
