I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
