he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
