you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
