I'm so fucking centered right now
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
