Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
