that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
