I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
