so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
