I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
