DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
