Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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