It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
