Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
