The maid of honor just puked.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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