I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
