Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
