Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
