Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
