what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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