Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize