Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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